Lizzie Catt shares her mum chat-up lines, because every mum needs her mum squad…

Becoming a mother is weird. You’re catapulted into a parallel universe where night is day, boobs make dairy, lunch is at 11am and you’re responsible for a little person who embarks on a confusing new adventure (cradle cap, immunisations, sleep regression, green poo….) each week.

What every new mum needs is her mum squad – women who’ll tell you when your breast pad’s sticking out and wouldn’t think twice about donating a tiny white vest to a sister in need.

Here’s where to find them:

The place: the weighing clinic

If you’ve made it out of the house with a newborn, you’re already on a roll. The weighing clinic will be packed with super local mums to befriend.

The line: 

“What percentile’s she on? The 40th? Wow, I’ve heard that’s like, the best one.”

The place: the playground

Trips to chilly playgrounds with swing-obsessed little ones can feel rather joyless, but they’re a great place to find allies.

The line:

“I’ve got a packet of Hobnobs in my change bag, shall we put the kids on the roundabout for a bit?”

The place: soft play

It’s tempting to avoid eye contact at soft play in case your kid’s the one who throws up in the ball pit, but it’s a top spot for finding friends.

The line:

“I’m terribly sorry, my little girl just clubbed your son over the head with a one-armed dolly and pushed him off the bouncy castle. Can I buy you a coffee by way of apology?

The place: music class

Baby music groups are the perfect place to start a band of mothers.

The line:

“I’ve got a xylophone and some jingles bells at my house and I just soaked them in anti-bac. Let’s go.”

The place: mush

Online is our lifeline, a magical portal back to the Real World. But while messaging friends in Oz during the 3am feed is pretty terrific, mush is more than a social media hub for parents; it’s the new way to connect with mums near you and create a real-life community.

The line:

“We have 3 friends in common, both love archery and disco dancing and have a daughter the same age. How are we not besties already?!”

 

@mushmums @Lizzie_Catt