Whether you breeze through pregnancy or are gobbling iron tablets and antacids like the Hungry Caterpillar let loose in a pharmacy, everyone has the odd moment when they think, ‘I AM SO OVER THIS!’.
As due date grows nearer, it’s hardly surprising that – even with the small matter of the birth to get through – most of us will be getting giddy over teeny tiny vests, cuddling cellular blankets and dreaming of holding our baby in arms.
But, as you nibble your sushi, tuck into your rare steak or sip your glass of fizz a few months after B-Day, there will be things about pregnancy that you miss.
Wearing really tight clothes
Fashion may come and go but nothing beats feeling like a foxy fertility goddess in an H&M vest and maternity leggings.
Ah, pregnancy boobs. We’re pretty sure the phrase, “You’re glowing!” was invented as something polite for astonished friends to say to pregnant women who’ve gained three cup sizes overnight.
The baby being pretty low maintenance
You may need to avoid certain delicious foods and booze but the baby’s sleeping position, temperature, wind content, food content and nappy content are not yet a concern, and the childcare arrangements are super-easy, too.
Most of us find sleep gets worse during pregnancy but when it’s your first, at least there are still those weekend lie-ins to sort-of enjoy (once you’ve got the 16 pillows re-arranged in just the right formation).
Going out after dark
Night time is pretty busy for new mums, but unless you’re driving the streets of your town in your PJs trying to get the baby to sleep, going out after darkness falls sort of stops being a thing – not that you’ll care. Staying in is awesome.
Not being on your period
A nine-month holiday from Auntie Flo and all her cramps and associated baggage? Yes please! OK, so the ol’ hormones are still around doing their thing, but a break from periods is brilliant.
Thinking up baby names
One baby, a billion possibilities. Then you have to pick just one combo and use the rest of the list up on future kiddos and pets or try to foist them on pregnant friends. “But Sparklepants is a great name!”.
Ha ha, only kidding. Nobody misses haemorrhoids. Or nausea, vomiting, leg cramps, swollen ankles, backache, thrush, varicose veins, heartburn or having somebody kicking you in the liver while headbutting your bladder 24/7.