DS/DD/DC: Dear or darling son/daughter/child. Often used sarcastically when they’re not being particularly dear.
DH/DP: As above, except now we’re talking about your husband or partner.
LO: Little one. Generally used more affectionately than DC.
OH: Other half. Seriously, how many names do they need?
MIL/FIL/SIL etc: The in laws, frequently slagged off on mum forums.
TTC: Trying to conceive.
BD: The baby dance. Or sex, as most of us have managed to call it since we were 12.
DTD: Do the deed. See above.
Baby dust: Something that is virtually sprinkled on people who are TTC by kindly online onlookers.
HPT: Home pregnancy test.
POAS: Pee on a stick.
BFP: Big fat positive. After you’ve done a POAS on an HPT, that is.
BFN: You can probably guess.
AF: Aunt Flo. That’s your period. Then why you didn’t you just say so? Who knows…
BF: Breastfeed… or boyfriend! Best not to confuse the two.
BM: Breast milk… or bowel movement! Again, a risky game.
FF: Formula feed. Also your bra size when you decide to FF but your BM’s come in.
BLW: Baby led weaning.
TW: Traditional weaning, of course! Are you getting the hang of this now?
CIO: Cry it out.
CC: Controlled crying.
AP: Attachment parenting. So don’t mention CIO and CC if there are any APs about.
EBF: Exclusively breastfeeding.
EBM: Expressed breast milk.
EDD: Estimated due date.
EWCM: Egg white cervical mucus. Have we put you off your Hob Nobs yet?
FTM: First time mum. But presumably one who’s done her research if she knows the lingo already.
MS: Morning sickness, but since in the real world it generally stands for multiple sclerosis, saying “I’ve got terrible MS” might unnecessarily alarm your parents.
SAHM/SAHD/SAHP: Stay at home parents. Because who has time to leave the house with all these acronyms to learn?
TMI: Too much information. Which is definitely what we’ve just provided.