Amy Ransom gives a set of three rules she wishes she had followed from the word go…
I’ve lost track of the amount of mums who have said to me they’re not the mum they thought they’d be. They would, of course, be better. I know that feeling well. I remember being incredibly disappointed in myself a lot of the time with my first baby, and even sometimes my second. It took baby no. 3 to finally make me feel confident as a mother. Or maybe I just became so knackered, I no longer gave a hoot. But anyway, I wish I’d felt more like this the first time around. I definitely wish I’d had the courage of my convictions and wasted less time worrying what others thought of me as a mother.
1. Always follow your instincts. They’re there for a reason. To guide you. Any time I ignored mine, usually to appease someone else, it all went pear shaped and I was left berating myself for not doing what I knew I should have done all along.
2. Your baby. Your rules. I cannot emphasise this one enough. Why do we listen to other people who barely know our baby? It’s never one size fits all. So politely (or not so politely) ignore other people’s unsolicited advice and carry on doing what you’re doing. No one knows your baby like you do.
3. Never compare your child. I’m sad to say I did this a lot with my first child. She wasn’t always easy and I constantly thought I was doing something wrong. I spent a lot of energy comparing her to other children, wishing she was more mild-mannered and worrying that people thought I was a bad, incapable mother. She’s seven now and possesses the same, strong will she had as a baby. And whilst she still challenges me the most out of all my children, she is kind, determined and incredibly independent. I wouldn’t change her for the world and I never compare her anymore because I now know how pointless that is. My three kids have shown me that children are all beautifully unique, even when they come from the same family.