If you’re facing your first days without your partner or any kindly visitors, you might freak out a bit. Here’s why you shouldn’t…

You can watch what you want

Ugh, remember all those evenings when you and your partner would spend so long trying to pick a film you both wanted to see that it would be time for bed and all you’d watched was seven movie trailers and half an episode of Location Location Location? Now the telly’s all yours. Your newborn does not have televisual preferences and will sleep through noise. Get stuck into those boxsets, you don’t need to go anywhere – you’ve just had a baby.

You can eat what you want

Want to subsist on nothing but oaty crunch biscuits and crumpets? That’s fine, you’ve just had a baby. Just make sure you have a well-stocked cupboard if you’re not quite at the taking the baby to the shops stage, whether it’s because you’re still walking like a cowboy or just suddenly afraid of all weather. Basically, this period should be treated like the eve of the apocalypse. Food, shelter and cuddles are all you need to get through it.

You can wear what you want

If you want to sit around in your pyjamas, active wear that has never seen the inside of a gym, or indeed your own wedding dress (bit weird but hormones can do this stuff. Plus it’s probably the same colour as baby sick, which is ideal), do it. Sensing a theme? Yep, that’s right, you’re getting the hang of this: you’ve just had a baby.

You can smell like you want

If you’re struggling to shower in the mornings, who gives a tiny rat’s ass? YOU’VE JUST HAD A BABY. If personal hygiene is important to you (alright Marie Kondo), all is not lost. Invest in a bouncy chair and take it into the bathroom with you, or bathe in the evenings with your baby. But if all this still feels a bit beyond you, don’t panic – wet wipes and dry shampoo are your friends.