The first few months have flown by, the sleepless nights have not! You might finally feel like the fog is lifting, and you’re starting to get to grips with looking after a little one. But you’ve actually learnt a lot more in these past few months than you realise…
The nose of a ninja
Only a mum could sniff out when their baby has a full nappy from a mile off, even when they’re surrounded by a whole room of other infants. It’s akin to knowing the familiar smell of your own farts…
Biceps that put Serena Williams to shame
And no, sadly it’s not from the hours of blood, sweat and tears you’ve put in at the gym, it’s from carrying your increasingly heavier baby-bundle around constantly, sometimes with a nappy-bag too for maximum weight-lifting workout effect!
Being able to sing Baby Shark on loop
If you’re at a loss to explain why this (somewhat annoying) children’s song has become so popular, you’re not alone. It’s the song that seems to have taken over the world and consequently you’ll be hard-pushed to find a baby group that doesn’t play it. Produced by Korean entertainment brand Pinkfong, it’s the viral internet hit that you’ll find yourself singing, humming and whistling to even when your baby is too young to join in – or tell you to shut up.
The memory of a dolphin (they knocked elephants off the top-spot for animal memory back in 2013 apparently, but “dolphins never forget” hasn’t caught on yet…)
Who else apart from a new mum can remember where every crucial baby item is, from their special satin-trimmed muslin, favourite teddy, the giraffe teething toy that they absolutely won’t sleep without, and even the Calpol syringe when they’re crying the house down with teething pains? Developing an unfaltering memory is like the sixth sense, gifted to new mums only in order to avoid baby meltdowns.
The ability to survive on no sleep
If sleep deprivation is a torture method, us new mums would give even the toughest negotiators a run for their money. Who else can survive on just a few hours of sleep a night, then be up at the crack of dawn and push a baby around a freezing cold park for a buggy-fit class? OK, so the ability to maintain a conversation might be affected slightly, but at least by hanging out with your mum mates you’re among like-minded victims. Conversation’s over-rated anyway…
The art of perseverance
Who else could tiptoe out of their baby’s bedroom without stepping on any squeaking floorboards for the seventh time in one hour, and still not give up when the baby still hasn’t gone to sleep? Or walk yet another lap of the park pushing a buggy in the pouring rain because it’s the only way your little one will drop off? For impatient people, the art of perseverance is definitely one of the harder life skills to take on board… but some babies give no choice.
Having the body of a Transformer
You’ve not only seen your body grow a human being inside you in less than a year, you’ve also delivered it (however which way that may have been – it’s here and that’s what matters). Such seismic changes to your physical self shouldn’t be underestimated. It’s likely you’ll still feel a shadow of the old you, especially if you look in the mirror. But with each month that passes you’ll gradually feel stronger and back to your old self. And yes there might be a few war wounds, but what a victory you won.
By that we don’t mean Strongman pulling trucks strength, but the strength to get up in the morning when your body, and mind, feels tired, exhausted, broken. The strength to cry and admit you’re struggling sometimes when things get too much, and the strength to love, protect and care for your baby no matter what. Because we all know that bring a mum isn’t always as perfect as the Instagram pics make out.