Sweetheart, this is your time. Your time to watch all the absolute guff you’ve been meaning to get round to for years. And by absolute guff we mean quality programming to entertain and delight but that are best watched with only your clueless baby for company, not a cynical partner who ruins everything. The following suggestions are available on a selection of streaming platforms (you can google them, we’re not the Radio Times) and can be absorbed at on the sofa under mounds of baby, biscuits and blankets, or squinted at in the dark (bad for your eyes but great for your soul) at 3am while you try and stay awake for feeds. Enjoy.

GREY’S ANATOMY

Medical dramas not your thing? Yeah, that’s what we thought too. WRONG! This is a romantic drama, just with a few gory bits and a lot of unfeasibly attractive people wearing scrubs. If you’ve had a traumatic hospital experience, maybe wait a few weeks before diving in though. Otherwise, go crazy.

THIS IS US

Oh, this is a joy. Unlike many of the box sets on this list, there aren’t (yet) twenty million series of it, so it’s less of a commitment. However, it is a commitment to crying quite a lot, so limber up those hormones and don’t wear mascara (AS IF). Warning, you will be fully in love with both Milo Ventimiglia and Mandy Moore before the day is out and possibly even willing to let them raise your baby as their own.

GILMORE GIRLS

Chances are, first time round you were too busy having something resembling a life to watch this religiously when it was on telly in the early noughties. Like us, perhaps you dipped in but didn’t fully invest. Hell, maybe we’re wrong and you’ve actually seen every episode six times, it doesn’t really matter, because having a baby has wiped your brain, Men In Black style (don’t watch that, some things from childhood are best left there). There’s loads of it, and it will make you laugh and cry, but not excessively so. Your baby might even enjoy the theme tune.

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

This is absolute trash that won’t make you feel brilliant about the state of your brain right now, but ooh, it’s addictive. It does all get a bit ridiculous after, say, series 11 or so, but you might be at the leaving the house stage by then, so don’t panic. For now, just enjoy great hair, mediocre acting and utterly ludicrous storylines.

NASHVILLE

More great hair, mediocre acting and utterly ludicrous storylines, hurrah! It doesn’t matter if you don’t like country music, it really isn’t the point. Plus you will do by the end of it anyway. This is soapy American escapism at its best, buckle up y’all.

RIVERDALE

Ahh, grown-ups playing teenagers, our favourite. It’s your classic high school froth, but with lots of dark twists to get confused about when you momentarily take your eyes away from the screen to change a nappy on the floor.

MODERN FAMILY

Another one of those shows that’s been going for years but you might only be vaguely aware of because life. This one is excellent post-natal viewing because the episodes are pretty short so fit perfectly around your non-existent nap schedule. It’s very funny (apologies to your compromised pelvic floor), utterly charming and we defy you not to fall for Phil Dunphy.