As if your body hadn’t been through enough, now you’ve got to bite your tongue as well. Why? Because you’re about to hear the same old clichés over and over again from (mostly) well-meaning friends, relatives and total strangers. Here are the big ones –and the truth.

“It gets easier”

Is it true? Yes! Mostly. There’s nothing like the shellshock of the early days with an alien newborn, but babies do eventually learn the difference between night and day and they won’t always feed what feels like every 12 seconds. That said, there will always be ups and downs – teething, sleep regressions, illness and just annoying rainy days can all make you feel rubbish, but the fun you’ll have and love you’ll feel will take the edge off. So, yes, it DOES get easier. You’re not being tricked.

“You must sleep while the baby sleeps”

Is it true? Well, of course, in theory it’s a genius idea.  But when the words comes from a relative who is in your house, drinking your coffee and chewing your ear off, all while your baby is dozing away, you’ll feel a bit murderous and they won’t quite see the irony. There’s also the fact that sleeping while the baby sleeps is considerably harder if your baby will only sleep on you.

“It’s just a phase”

Is it true? Kind of. Your baby will indeed have phases of sleeping badly, sleeping well, being a little angel and being a total douchebag, for instance, but while you’re in the thick of them, being told “it’s just a phase” will annoy you. Because it doesn’t make it any easier, does it? Especially when said cliché-spouter cannot give you the exact date this so-called phase will end. Remember though guys, it gets easier!

“You’ll never finish a hot drink”

Is it true? Not necessarily. It depends how much you like hot drinks – if you are a total caffeine addict you’ll always prioritise gulping down your beverage of choice before tending to your baby’s nappy. So fear not: a life of grim luke-warm refreshments in mugs that are ringed with stains of the many unfinished drinks before them does not necessarily await. It’s all about your priorities.

“It goes so fast”

Is it true? God yes. At least, eventually. While pregnancy feels like an age, motherhood can race along. It’s strange really, because some days – especially in the first couple of months, have a habit of dragging so much you’ll feel like you’re wading through treacle (the minutes between 4 and 6pm will sometimes feel like decades), but then you won’t believe that you suddenly have a 12 week old, and then a six month old, and then – sob! – an actual adult human leaving home to start a life of their own. Woah, now you’re a granny!