Get out of the house, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. 

A busy bus

It’s all very well being told you need to fold your buggy up if a wheelchair user, or too many other buggies, board the 487 to The Arse End Of Suburbia, but actually doing it can be quite challenging when the basket contains three dirty nappies, seven changes of clothes, a mysterious football, the remnants of yesterday’s lunch and a few dozen dried-up leaves. And who’s meant to hold your (inevitably, sleeping) baby while you attempt to dismantle your four-wheeled beast on a moving vehicle anyway? Sure, you could get off and wait for the next bus but if they’re only every half an hour, it’s pissing it down and you have an actual appointment in seven minutes’ time, it’s not a very attractive option either.

The beach

What a great day out! Until you try and drag your lightweight urban travel system through 100 metres of shingle or sand to get a nice spot. And then try and do the same in reverse when a freak wave approaches.

Cafes full of other mums

FAB news, girls – a new cafe has opened down the road that’s super child-friendly with LOADS of room for buggies. At least, there was loads of room for buggies until word got around and now you can’t move for shiny Bugaboos and crumb-covered MacLarens clogging up the place. Eventually, you get a table, and spot your new mum mate across the way looking lonely, but all you can do is wave awkwardly because there’s no chance of getting through the throngs without getting your cardi caught on a handlebar and spilling your Flat White on a tantrumming toddler rolling on the floor.

London Underground

Oh, you want us to fold the buggy up and drag it, along with a wriggly baby and three bags, up an escalator full of angry businessmen and confused tourists? And if we don’t want to do that, we have to, what, just live in the station forever, with the rats? We’re not *convinced* it’s safer than just balancing it on there, but rules are rules.

The Great Wall Of China

Admittedly we haven’t tried it but it looks like it’d be a bit of a ball-ache.